As I write today I battle with the effects of burn-out. This year has become one of the most fulfilling and exhilarating years I have ever experienced. We have been blessed in so much but one thing I continuously fight with is the momentum life can suddenly reach.
The year ahead is jam-packed with new and exciting events and activities but I often face the question of how can I have the energy to do them all? This began when at 14 years old I was diagnosed with M.E.- an illness that robs you of your energy. I have never really written about it and have attempted so many times to keep it hidden but still the struggle is there.
Often the lack of energy at times can cause me to feel extremely despondent as I have to navigate through all the different opportunities that are daily given to me. The last few weeks have been particularly hard as there have been a lot of difficulties to overcome. The only way I can describe to you what it feels like most of the time is in the form of a picture. I am like a person who is spinning plates, I'll get a couple of plates spinning really strong and solid and feel happy to start trying others. However I often get very excitable as those plates are going really well so I'll reach for another 5 or 10 instead of 1! Before I know they all come tumbling down and I have to start again.
Yet I have felt God saying to me continuously over this year..."Let go, stop trying to spin those plates and come to me"... I have began to realise that my weariness frequently heightens when I do not spend time in His presence. I need His presence. There is healing in His presence. The plate spinner madly dashes back and forth fearful of the crash of tumbling plates. Yet the Jesus follower doesn't need spinning plates, he peacefully walks past him and says, "My Father has got this because each plate is in His hand!"
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest"...